Testimony: "Health"
Everybody wants to be healthy. But for healthy person health itself is often taken for granted (well at least for me), since I don't smoke, drink alcoholic beverages, or overeat.
Health for me is like something that is obvious. You order a burger and get the ketchup. That's simple. Never crossed on my mind that I could get cancer. And that is what God wanted to teach me through this season.
Until 26 years old, every medical check-up that I took never mentioned any serious issue. However, only within 4 months after proposed my girlfriend, I was diagnosed with cancer. To be precise, it is alveolar soft part sarcoma. The insidious and mostly fatal tumor that already took a lot of lives, especially at their youth age between 15 and 30s.
1. The painless lump grow slowly and until it gets big enough to be noticed or caused pain, and until then the tumor mostly already spread to your other body part. I noticed there is slow growing lump in my right thigh in early 2013, but only in summer 2014 it was diagnosed as my primary tumor after several misdiagnosis from local clinic. My plans of getting married, have own house, and traveling overseas were foiled by that one diagnosis. But God have His own plan. He shows me that He puts me in a workplace where my superior know one of the best sarcoma oncologist in Korea and arranged my check-up in a short time. The timing is also not so long after Korean government gave social insurance up to 95% for cancer patient. Without social insurance, I had to pay for 10 million KRW for my surgery. After surgery, I got crutch and I learned that to be able to walk normally is a grace.
2. The tumor usually spreads to lung, brain, bone, skull, and sometimes to liver, heart, pancreas, or eye socket. In 2017, I got two metastasis surgeries for both of my lungs. It was the most painful surgery in my life as they perform thoracotomy and you can have a glimpse of how painful it is if you look up for 'thoracotomy' in Google image. But God shows me how drama queen I am. I got narcotic painkiller, laid down on comfortable bed and got treated by professional health care in hospital to cure my cancer while He was almost naked, crucified on a wooden cross and got stabbed in His side by professional executioner on top of mountain to took my sins.
3. Sometimes even state-of-the-art medical scan could miss the metastasis. That is what happened to my right shoulder. Bone scan, PET scan, X-ray, MRI, you name it- they missed the metastasis on my right humerus. On my 1,000 days wedding anniversary, I was running to catch the train after leaving my office and didn't see the tines (Forks) of forklift truck by the road. My foot got caught and out of all of my body parts, my right shoulder hit the road first. Instead of spend dinner with my family, I have to spend that night on hospital bed (again) due to bone fracture. But God works even in the most trivial things in my life. If the forklift truck wasn't there, my metastasis would grow unnoticed and could break the bone in more painful way or at more crucial timing, or even worse, the metastasis could spread further until it's too late to be treated. If the forklift truck wasn't parked in front of my office, I couldn't get worker's compensation from government and have to pay the bone fracture treatment that wasn't covered by insurance.
4. Currently there is no 100% cure for this disease, as traditional chemotherapy mostly failed and there is limitation to surgery. My oncologist know this and tried new combination of drugs (Doxorubicin and Olaratumab) instead of conventional drug in the end of 2018. My hair fall within two weeks of chemotherapy, the other side effects started kick in and I have to take a sick leave from my office. By then, my wife got our third pregnancy and it would hurt us if I got unpaid leave. But God shows me He is the God who provide. I joined my company on October 2011. The sick leave policy is three months paid leave for new until six years staff and six months paid leave for seven years staff. I took the sick leave on November 2018.
5. The drugs didn't work for me and new metastasis found on my skull in 2019. I had to underwent craniectomy and craniotomy for tumor removal. My vision nerve was affected by craniectomy and the short-term side effect was my vision got weird. To describe it easily, watch Lily Allen F You video. I couldn't drive anymore and got freaked out whenever I see people. My wife told me to enjoy the sight by regard it as a Picasso art. I love you darling. But God is a God who hears prayer. I prayed and the weird vision just gone away before return to my office. I was worried about losing my job if that kind of vision remains.
6. During early of 2020, the metastasis spread as fast as COVID-19. Metastasis in my lymph node in neck area got bigger really fast, there was another metastasis in my left arm and other small metastasis on skull. My left arm was planted with intramedullary nail because the metastasis grew really fast and already infested a portion of left humerus bone marrow. But God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Another painful surgery and intramedullary nail implantation, and I know God still stays by my side, He still cares and do not forget me.
7. Start from June 2020, I take another round of chemotherapy (Pazopanib) because there is another metastasis growing on skull base around sphenoid area that is difficult to be resected. Moreover, the tumor pressed another vision nerve and caused diplopia (Double vision). Another concern for me as a breadwinner. But God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
First round of chemotherapy already reduced the size of tumor and the diplopia was gone right away in just a few days.
It’s already eight surgeries and two chemotherapies, which takes more than six years! During the last six years, God taught me a lot of hard lessons. I knew I was an ungrateful person. God knew I was. God is a good Father who teach me how to give thanks in every situation. Now I learn how to be grateful, down-to-earth, and most above all: I learn to surrender to God’s will for my life. And learn not to get irritated easily if someone park forklift truck right in front of my property- it could save life.
Thank you Lord for this opportunity to help me grow.
Your Beloved Son,
Daniel Dewangga
Seoul, 18 July 2020
